TLDR: May 2022 sucked

TLDR: May 2022 sucked

I am a natural writer. Getting things out on the page has always been my go to. So, I really can't say that I struggle to find the words too much. I do, however sometimes struggle with sharing them, and even more so with doing so consistently. 
As I reflect on this was a really FULL one. And I mean that in the most grueling, "what can go wrong will go wrong" kind of way---there goes that feeling again. 



The one that says maybe I shouldn't say this...
I shouldn't type this...maybe I shouldn't go there in a blog post. 


But then I remembered something; the whole reason I started this blog in the first place--to work on sharing as a form of therapy through speaking my truth. To leave the light on through these posts for those who may need it. To have honesty and humanity waiting on the page for any who need to remember what it's like. To be seen and prove to others how very seen they are. To create a ritual of it all...

Fair warning: May was a very stressful and traumatic month for me, and while I won't be going into too much detail, this post may be triggering for some and if you're wanting a more happy and upbeat read, go ahead and skip this one. 🤍


If you're still here, let's go ahead and go there:

This month started off with a death. Not just any death, but the death of one of my close family members. A death attributed to mental illness. A suicide. 
I won't go into detail, but heartbreak doesn't quite cut it.  
So, that's what the first week of May offered, and as I write this now at the end of the month, I can hardly believe all that has transpired since that week. 
This month has offered me multiple lessons and opportunities for growth and self-observation. I will not lie and say I was able to rise to the occasion, I won't even say "oh I learned so much through all of this!". It's just not true. I do think I will grow immensely as a result of this month, and I am now doing plenty self-reflection on what I've experienced, but the truth is this month sucked and I spent most of it just trying to hold on to the side of the earth so I didn't fall off.
Now that I'm attempting to pull and claw my way out of the fog, I have a few thoughts to share:
  • Support systems matter and make a really HUGE difference on this life journey
  • It's ok to not be ok--as cliché as it sounds
  • "Not ok" is subjective and mental health should always be prioritized and taken very seriously
  • This world is really scary sometimes, but there is a lot to appreciate and be thankful for every single day we're here
  • The small things are the big things. The small things are the big things. THE SMALL THINGS ARE THE BIG THINGS!!! 


 On the other side of it, I see this month was about drawing near to the ones we love and ceasing every moment. Paying attention to even the subtle messages the ones we love send. Being okay with feeling silly for speaking up, but speaking up nonetheless. And it was also about finding the beauty in letting go. I'm still working on it, and if any of you have any words of advice or encouragement, I'd love to read them. 


"For those who expect everything, there are many curses.
For those who appreciate everything, there are many blessings."

-James Clear


 Photo by Tasha Jolley
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